It's during times like these that I am not happy that my children live in other cities. If I had my way, they would be back sleeping in their childhood beds every night. I feel out of control and full of fear. So what do I do when I feel like this? Hand color............
It's interesting because I planned this post before Friday's earthquake. I have been feeling scattered and confused about my work and had just begun to get some clarity when all this happened.
It's well documented that I change my mind a lot. I will state a strong case for something one day and then a month later feel very different. I don't feel bad about this. I believe it's part of the creative process, but it may appear as "flakiness" to some. An example of this is back in May of 2009 I wrote a post titled "Slow Art". I was celebrating the fact that I was not rushing around creating inventory for shows that spring. Instead, I was spending my time hand coloring and creating new original images from older negatives. I was focused on slowing down and hand coloring.
Then last fall I wrote a post called "Digital Creations" where I shared my decision to also offer images I created only in the computer. Part of that decision came from wanting to make more images in a shorter amount of time, something I am not feeling very good about right now. While I did mention that I would continue to hand color, I felt a sense of pulling back from the one constant in my work for the last 16 years. Five months later and I am feeling very different.
Hand coloring gives me a sense of escape and grounding. I have a history of running to the darkroom and then the easel whenever life threw me a curve ball. Photography has helped me find joy and purpose when I felt sad, confused or angry.
I am already on my computer so much. Besides working on images, there is email, social media and of course - the news. While I can choose whether or not to watch the videos or read the headlines, I don't want to put my head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening across the Pacific.
|©Dianne Poinski "Pond Reflections" |
But don't hold me to this.............
PS If you want to help out the victims of the earthquake in Japan, click here: Oxfam America