Thursday, August 6, 2009

More Reflections

I have been back from Paris almost three weeks. After recovering from my jet lag I jumped in and immediately started working on images from the trip. I was excited and couldn't wait to see what I had. I edited, printed, and even hand-colored 6 small prints in that time. And then the other day I hit a wall.

I woke up on Tuesday and felt like cleaning. This is usually a sign that something is up, and while cleaning my basement I identified it and have been reflecting on it ever since.

I have been moving too fast, trying to do too much and in the process began to feel burned out, resentful and bored with myself.

On a deeper and more personal level I also knew I needed some time to grieve. Until now I haven’t been ready to publicly talk about it, but six days before I left for Paris my dear friend Susan passed away after a very courageous fight with leukemia. Susan was a bright light in so many lives, a very talented photographer and too young to be taken from us.

In the days before I left for Paris I had a million things to do so I really didn’t have time to think about it. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t ready. Every once in awhile, usually while driving, it would hit me and I would shed a few tears, put myself back together and do what was needed.

Paris was one of Susan’s favorite cities and so I went with the intention to honor her spirit and celebrate our friendship. I lit a candle for her in Notre Dame which felt so right.

Her memorial took place while I was away and I was very sorry I missed it. I think I could have used the closure and the connection with mutual friends. I am trying to get a few us together to do our own little memorial for her.

In the meantime, I gave myself the time this week to let the reality of all this sink in and feel what I needed to feel. As a result, I am feeling more grounded and centered and ready to do the “slow” work of hand-coloring some 16 x 20 prints and reflect on how grateful I am for having had Susan in my life for the last 10 years.

©2009 Dianne Poinski


  1. Diane, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend Susan. I am sending an Angel of Comfort to you.
    I could not image losing so close of a friend. My BFF and I have been friends since I was 6 years old. Next month we will celebrate 33 years of friendship.
    Wishing you a scent-sational day!

  2. Thank you so much Patty! I really appreciate your kind and comforting words!It just reminds us all how we have to cherish our friendships!.

  3. Hi Dianne, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Hugs to you!